North Carolina, Charlotte – Every October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) is commemorated in the United States, it is a month of national action to encourage individuals, victim advocates and communities to take action and help put an end to this scourge.
In the United States, October became domestic violence awareness month in 1987. Although much has been achieved since then, there are major challenges to resolve that have been exacerbated during the pandemic.
This Domestic Violence Awareness Month is distinguished by the purple ribbon, which symbolizes survivors who suffered physical and emotional abuse but still thrive and live a life free of violence.
¿What is domestic violence ?
For many people, having relationships with intimate partners or other loved ones is a key part of their happiness.
But domestic violence in the home is a real and constant threat to people's safety and well-being.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), one in four women in the United States will experience severe physical or sexual abuse at the hands of their partner in their lifetime, and those are just some of the forms of abuse people can experience .
Domestic abuse can also include emotional, financial, or psychological abuse. The signs of abuse may not always be easy to recognize, but they are rooted in the abuser establishing power and control over another person.
Domestic violence destroys people's health and well-being and, too often, leads to the deaths of people we love.
It affects people regardless of race, religion, age, gender or sexual identity. Understanding how abusive relationships work and becoming an ally to your friends and loved ones can save lives.
In other words, domestic violence is defined as: intentional bullying, physical assault, battery, sexual assault and/or other behaviorally abusive acts, as part of a systematic pattern of “power and control” perpetrated by one intimate partner against another.
It may also include an act committed against a child under the age of 18 who belongs to the alleged victim.
Domestic violence includes: physical violence, sexual violence, threats, economic and emotional/psychological abuse.
The frequency and severity of domestic violence vary dramatically
If you are in an abusive relationship and your partner has ever pressured or forced you to do something sexually that you were not comfortable doing or that you did not actively consent to, that is considered sexual abuse.NCADV
How recognize the behavior usive
Agree, with the National Domestic Violence Hotline There are signs of abuse to look out for when starting a new relationship, but it's not easy to know if it will later become abusive.
“In fact, many abusive people seem like ideal partners in the early stages of a relationship. Warning signs of abuse do not always appear overnight and can emerge and intensify as the relationship grows,” the national organization notes.
However, every relationship is certainly different and domestic violence is not always the same. However, a characteristic shared by most abusive relationships is that the abusive partner attempts to establish or “gain power and control ” through many different methods at different times.
Common Signs of Abusive Behavior in a Partner
The organization indicates that one or two of the following behaviors in a relationship may be a warning sign that abuse may occur:
- Tell him that he never does anything right.
- Showing extreme jealousy towards your friends or the time you spend away from them.
- Prevent or discourage spending time with other people, particularly friends, family or colleagues.
- Insult, demean, or embarrass, especially in front of other people.
- Prevent you from making your own decisions, including about working or going to school.
- Controlling household finances without discussion, such as taking their money or refusing to provide money for necessary expenses.
- Pressure to have sex or perform sexual acts that you are not comfortable with.
- Pressure to use drugs or alcohol.
- Intimidate through threatening looks or actions.
- Insulting their parents or threatening to harm or take away their children or pets.
- Intimidate with weapons such as guns, knives, bats or clubs.
- Destroy your belongings or your home.
Immigration status should not be an obstacle to seek help and protection against domestic violence. Undocumented immigrant women in the United States who are victims of domestic violence can apply for VISA-U (Visa available for victims) and have the Violence Against Women (VAWA) , which is a law that allows victims of domestic violence to self-petition to obtain immigration status without the need for the cooperation of their parents. aggressors.
Types of domestic violence
Domestic violence is a variety of abuse and violent behaviors, both physical and verbal. According to the organization Women Against Abuse There are even abuses due to the couple's immigration status, which can include keeping or destroying immigration documents or threatening to call the immigration authorities.
Among the most frequent types of violence are the following:
Physical abuse
Physical abuse is one of the easiest types of abuse to identify. It involves the use of physical violence, or threats of physical violence, to maintain power over an individual.
Because of this, survivors are afraid and unsure when more abuse will occur. This often reinforces the regular use of other, more subtle types of abuse.
You may be experiencing physical abuse if your partner repeatedly engages in or engages in any of the following abusive behaviors:
- Pulling her hair or hitting her, slapping her, kicking her, biting her, strangling her or choking her.
- Forbid or prevent him from eating or sleeping.
- Uses weapons against you, including firearms, knives, bats, or mace.
- Prevent you from contacting emergency services, including medical care or authorities.
- Harm your children or pets.
- Driving recklessly or dangerously with you in the car or abandoning you in unknown places.
- Force her to use drugs or alcohol, especially if she has a history of substance abuse.
- Trap him in his house or prevent him from leaving.
- Throw objects at him.
- Prevent you from taking prescribed medications or deny you necessary medical treatment.
Emotional abuse
Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviors intended to control, isolate, or scare someone. These behaviors are often more subtle and difficult to identify, but they are just as serious as other types of abuse.
- Constantly insult or criticize her.
- Acting jealous or possessive and refusing to trust you.
- It isolates her from her family, friends, or other people in her life because it makes someone easier to control.
- It monitors your activities with or without your knowledge, including demanding to know where you go, who you communicate with, and how you spend your time.
- Trying to control what you wear, including clothes, makeup, or hairstyles.
- Humiliates him in any way, especially in front of others.
- He deceives her by pretending not to understand her or by refusing to listen to her; questions your memory of facts, events, or sources; trivializes her needs or feelings; or denies prior statements or promises.
- Threatens you, your children, your family, or your pets (with or without weapons).
- Damages belongings, including throwing objects, hitting walls, kicking doors, etc.
- He blames you for his abusive behaviors.
- He accuses her of cheating or deceiving himself and blames her for her actions.
- He tricks her to intentionally hurt her and threatens to trick her again to suggest that they are “better” than you, telling her that she is lucky to be with him and that she will never find someone better.
Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse occurs when a partner controls physical and sexual intimacy in a relationship. This often involves acting in a non-consensual and forced manner.
You may be experiencing sexual abuse if your partner repeatedly does or does any of the following:
- Making her dress in a sexual way that she feels uncomfortable with.
- Insults her in a sexual way or insults you explicitly.
- Forces or manipulates her into having sex or performing sexual acts, especially when she is sick, tired, or physically injured by his abuse.
- Choke her or restrain her during sex without her consent.
- He holds her down during sexual relations without her consent.
- He hurt her with weapons or objects during sexual relations.
- Involves other people in your sexual activities against their will.
- He ignores his feelings regarding sex.
- Forces her to watch or do pornography.
- Intentionally infecting – or attempting to infect – your partner with a sexually transmitted infection.
Abuse for all Economic commitment
Financial or economic abuse occurs when an abusive partner extends their power and control to your financial situation.
Below are ways to identify the different types of abuse in your relationship related to financial abuse.
- It gives you an allowance and you want to closely monitor how you spend it, including requiring receipts from purchases.
- Deposits your paycheck into an account you cannot access Preventing you from viewing or accessing bank accounts.
- Prevents you from working, limits the hours you can work, gets you fired, or forces you to do certain types of work.
- You max out your credit cards without permission, don't pay credit card bills, or otherwise damage your credit score.
- Steals money from you, your family or your friends.
- Withdraw money from your children's savings accounts without their permission.
- He lives at home, but refuses to work or contribute to the household.
- Forces her to provide her tax returns or seize joint tax returns.
- Refuses to provide money for necessary or shared expenses such as food, clothing, transportation, medical care, or medicine.
Resources and Support Organizations for Victims of Domestic Violence in the US
Breaking the cycle of domestic violence is possible.
In the United States there are multiple resources and help centers for victims of domestic violence.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
One of them is the “National Domestic Violence Hotline” , in Spanish National Domestic Violence Hotline ”. Call or text for help in Spanish through the National Domestic Violence Hotline resources available.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline by: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) . The call is free and confidential. You can send a text message to: “START” at 88788
They can also help you on the National Domestic Violence Hotline site https://espanol.thehotline.org
Office on Women's Health from OASH
The Office on Women's Health (OWH) offers resources and programs in every US state to help people who have been victims of domestic abuse. Consult the list by state and in Spanish click on this link.
Domestic Violence Resources in North Carolina
In North Carolina there are various resources and laws to protect victims.
North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCCADV) provides help in Spanish for victims of domestic violence in NC.
They have a medical care program for women and men who have experienced intimate partner violence (IPV-Intimate Partner Violence) and bring the community closer workshops related to financial abuse and economic justice.
You can contact NCCADV through its website in Spanish web.
Compass Center account provide crisis services and offer support towards a safe exit. Their crisis line is open 24/7 by calling 919-929-7122 . Click here to go to their website.
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